Commitment to be Free From The Past Part 3

One of our tasks as adult is to identify our thoughts and feelings and discover their origin. Recognizing them is easier but accepting or modifying them may be difficult. Memories are the basis for how we feel about ourselves and many of us carry distorted views of ourselves. They usually stem from childhood and may have been created by longtime parental attitudes.

The Effects of Personal Rejection
  Many people grow up from childhood with the belief that acceptance and affection have a price tag- they are not free gifts, but something one earns by accomplishing something, attaining some goal or refraining from doing something. Rejection communicates to your that you are not worth having a relationship with or even knowing. Rejection occurs and you feel hurt and even bitter. You become very sensitive to actual or apparent rebuffs. You anticipate rejection and read it into other people's response.You assume the worst and are very suspicious. You also tend to reject yourself if you feel you were rejected by someone you care for. You will enter marriage starved for love and acceptance, needing constant attention, acceptance and affection.
  Some people are perfectionists. They have endless goal of pleasing their parents even though the parents are no longer around. They become anxious because the lack of perfect behavior in others arouses his own feelings of self-belittlement. Perfectionists are difficult to live with. They experience success but still feel empty and dissatisfied.
  We do not need a list of achievements to prove ourselves as persons of worth. We need not fear losing our worth, because God's estimation of us is not based upon our qualifications. We can believe that our worth is a gift from God, we are free to risk because worth remains stable whether we achieve or not. We are free to attempt new ventures which could actually enhance this gift of worth. God's act in our life is an emancipation. We are free from the infringement of fearful hesitation and perfectionistic striving.

The Effects of Indulgence
  Some parents think that the best way of expressing their love is through indulgence. The child is constantly kept in a dependent passive state and does not learn to take initiative. He expects others to provide and entertain him. You will label him as selfish or self-centered. This person expects his/her spouse to be a mind reader and if the spouse is not, he/she will complain not always outwardly but in inner conversation eg "my wife ought to know i like..." This person is a taker and not a giver. Intimacy and emotional involvement in marriage cannot develop. He has no concern over disappointing his partner. He resists any efforts on the part of his partner to help him become a contributing member of the marriage. He will find many ways to escape giving.

Materials taken from
Wright, H.N. (1985). So You're Getting Married. Ventura, California: Regal Books.

Nasi Kerabu Mekla

  This restaurant was once mentioned to me by my houseman as I love Nasi Kerabu however up till now I have not found any that is nice enough. This is recommended by Kev's colleague. We decided to go there and try out as breakfast and I assure you this is def a heavy breakfast however the price is quite reasonable. The restaurant is located at the outskirt of Kuantan town and on the way to Gambang. There are not much houses around the shop.

When we arrived, there's lots of cars parked in front of the shop. We arrived within have an hour of the shop opening. 😮 Luckily extra parkings are provided at the side of the shop.

The front of the shop. The 1st floor seems to be on renovation. The feel that this restaurant gives me is that it might be an unfinished building then someone abandoned it and this shop owner bought it over and gave it a makeover with the skeleton of the building. 

The deco in the shop- photography place

The drink station

The menu

You can have different choices to go with your nasi kerabu, puyuh (bird), chicken or prawn

Other choices, different types of dishes. They also offer nasi kuning (yellow rice) or laksam

My choice of prawn and beef to go with my nasi kerabu

Their teh tarik looked kinda odd with that yellow look

A favourite of Kev's late grandmother. The glutinous rice and the coconut is sweet and it goes really well with the savoury fried fish. It's called Pulut Gaul Nyior which Nyior means desiccated coconut

Ratings:

Ambience ★★★☆☆

Food ★★★★☆

Cleanliness ★★★☆☆

Price ★★★★☆

 Jalan Permatang Badak Baru 3 (7.56km),

25150 Kuantan

Tel: 019-9313558

Opening hours: Open daily from 8am to 12am except for Thursdays

Satti Sorru Kuantan

  This shop is recommended by my Indian colleague. He says that this shop is really famous in KL. It is rice cooked in claypot the Indian way. So, one fine evening, Kev and his Dad and I decided to give it a go. It's not really easy to find as you have to open your eyes wide. It's located in the middle of the other shops in a foodcourt like setting where there's lots of other restaurants around esp Thai.

If you want an air conditioned place to have your meal, don't come here. Basically all the sitting is outside the shop. 

Authentic Indian Claypot. They even have chinese writing on their signboard!

Their menu and pricing. Not so bad pricing though

Chicken claypot

Mutton claypot

Fried chicken, definitely recommend this. The waiter told us this recipe is one of the oldest that belongs to the shop owner

Nice salad

  Basically, the claypot rice is pretty much similar. As described by Kev, " It looks like someone eat the curry rice and vomited out on to the claypot." Lol. However we think that the food is good. The cold salad goes really well with the spiciness of the rice. They even asked us the spiciness of the claypot rice and we chose to have it moderate. I had to have 2 cups of water in the end. It wasn't that spicy in the beginning but getting hot towards the end. I prefer the mutton one compared to the chicken one. Always like the indian way of cooking mutton. I like the amount that they gave us however Kev thinks that it is too little and he is not having enough. Lol. If there is a chance to go back, I gotta try out wild boar flavour. 

Ratings:

Ambience ★★☆☆☆

Food ★★★★☆

Cleanliness ★★★☆☆

Price ★★★★☆

Sattisorru Kuantan,

Jalan Air Putih,

Galing, Kuantan.

Tel: 012-9382801

Opening hours: Open daily 6pm to 11pm except on Sundays

Sourdough starter diary

  Sourdough had been a fascination for me. I will watch videos on how to make the perfect sourdough eg ilovecookingireland and frenchguycooking. Of course I do read a lot of articles as well during my preparation for the soudough starter journey. From what I read, it is advisable to try it out with all purpose flour first as it is the most predictable. Being the rookie, of course I try it out with all purpose flour first. It turned out beautifully and gave me a confidence boost. I then continue my journey using wholewheat flour. I got this from my local bakery supplies store which is already mixed between wholewheat and breadflour. I'm not sure what is the mixing ratio however it worked fine no matter which store I got the flour from. Once you get a hang of this, you can just basically try out with different types of flour to make this starter. Your starter and your bread can even be of different type of flour eg I used my all purpose flour starter for my wholewheat bread. However the degree of proofing might be different. Some might be stronger and proof larger. Some might not be strong enough to proof really big.
  There is a test called the floating test. You will fill your bottle with lots of water and put in a chunk of your sourdough starter to see whether it floats. I tried it with all purpose flour and it floated beautifully. Unfortunately for my wholewheat flour, it did not float. I then proceed with baking my bread using it, my sourdough bread still turns out nicely so do not despair if it does not float. Try baking a bread with it, it might give u unexpectedly pleasant results. Just make sure that you add the flour and bread during the same hours for the rest of the days eg if the first day you are doing it at 8am, it is advisable to add in the flour and water at the same time for the rest of the days. During this journey, if by noontime after your starter has grown big and you found quite some amount of water on the surface, add a tablespoon or so of flour and mix it because it means that your starter is still hungry. The consistency is supposed to be doughlike texture and not too gooey. Generally, my sourdough starter will start to rise by noon and grow bigger in the afternoon and last till the evening. The next day it would have fallen but still there will be lots of air bubbles inside and it will still look more compared to when you just mixed your ingredients.
  In the end when I'm done with it, I will add equal amounts of flour and water into my starter. When it startes to grow with air bubbles in between I then store it in the fridge. If I want to make bread, I will remove 100 grams of sourdough starter from the original jar and store the original jar back into the fridge. For the 100 grams that I want to use, I will add in 100 grams of flour and 100 grams of water and wait for it to grow. Usually I will do it in the morning and only use the started the next day. For the original starter that is in the fridge, when there is like 1/4 of starter left, I will add 200 grams of flour and water each. After 2-3 hours after it has grown, I will then store the starter into the fridge.
  This is the beginning of my sourdough starter journey. I prefer to use glass with big mouth so that I can add or remove the ingredients easily and I love watching the air bubbles in the transparent jar. Give your starter a name and show some love then it will grow really well. For my diary, I usually do it in the morning around 7am. Do make sure that the water you used for this starter is not tap water but filtered water because chlorine is bad for your starter. The water used should be hot or warm. Store your starter in somewhere hot and dark. Do not close the lid tight. For me I prefer to cover the top with cloth and tie it will a rubber band.

Day 1
50 grams of flour
50 grams of water
Mix these 2 ingredients and leave it in a container.

The beginning of my journey

 My sourdough starter's name is Dave

Look at the awesome air bubbles. This is what I get just before i add in the 2nd day's flour and water

Day 2

50 grams of flour

50 grams of water

Mix the ingredients together and add it into the mixture you had previously. Mix it all together.

After adding the ingredients for day 2

By noon time there's lotsa air in it

The growth during noontime

Just before I added the ingredients for Day 3

Day 3

Discard 100 grams of the starter. 

Feed the leftovers with

100 grams of flour 

100 grams of water

Mix well.

After adding the ingredients for the 3rd day

Day 4

My original jar is not enough therefore I have to change another jar.

Discard 150 grams of the starter. 

Feed with

100 grams of flour

100 grams of water

Mix well.

After adding in the ingredients for day 4

By noon time, it has peaked

There is a bit of drop compared to the peak. This is just before adding the ingredients for Day 5

Day 5

Discard 200 grams of starter

Feed with

150 grams of flour

150 grams of water

Mix well.

My starter for the 5th day

Day 6

Discard 250 grams of starter

Feed with

200 grams of flour 

200 grams of water

Mix well.

My starter for day 6

Day 7

It is ready to be used in baking your bread

A starter that is ready

  After getting my starter is ready, my journey for the perfect bread recipe starts here......

Foochow Style Chicken Noodles (Mee Sua) Soup with Red Rice Wine 红酒面线

One of my favourite dishes

I'm a Foochow which means I grow up with Foochow delicacies at home. My grandmother used to cook this dish for us weekly, minus the sesame oil and also minus the red wine. This is because my family is not used to sourish dish and also the smell of sesame oil. We usually finish off the soup and left the chicken in it as the soup is really good after harnessing the taste from the chicken meat. As what I told Kev, this chicken soup noodles is really important to a Foochow. We have this dish during birthdays, confinements, deaths and even marriage. Every occasion, you sure will have this dish on the table.

Foochow Style Chicken Noodles Soup with Red Rice Wine
Prep time: 15 min
Cooking time: 1 hour
Serving Size: 4 person
Difficulty: Easy

400 grams of Kampung Chicken (Cut into Pieces)
30 grams of ginger
150 grams of red rice wine
4 eggs
1 litre of water
100 grams of dried mushrooms
5 tablespoons of sesame oil
4 rolls of noodles (mee sua)
4 small strands of ginseng roots
10 goji berries

1. Cut the ginger into pieces. Soaked the dried mushrooms in water. 

(From left: Dried mushrooms, Chicken, Red wine (top), Ginger and Sesame Oil

Dried mushrooms soaked

Chicken, cut into pieces

2. Heat up a pan. When it is hot, pour in the sesame oil. Add in the ginger and chicken when the oil is mediumly hot and stir it around. Turn off the fire when the ginger is fragrant. 

I use an electric pot to cook as it has the heating function. Cooking sesame oil, ginger and chicken

3. Pour all the solution into a pot. Pour the water, red rice wine, dried mushrooms, ginseng roots and goji berries into the pot too.

Add water, ginseng, berries, and dried mushrooms into the pot

4. Cook on medium fire and when it is boiling, cook it on slow fire for 1 hour.

The soup. It doesnt look much but it is delicious

5. The noodles are only to be cooked when it is ready to be served. Add 500mls of water into a pot and turn on the fire. When the water is boiling, add the noodles and when it is loose and soft, remove the noodles and add into individual bowls.

Sarawak produced mee sua. This is in sun dried form where my grandmother make it into rolls and dry it

6. In a separate pot, boil 500mls of water. When it is boiling, add the egg and cook for 7 minutes. Add the egg into the dish.

7 minute egg where the yolk is still runny

7. Assemble the soup, noodles and egg then it is ready to be served.

Chicken noodles soup ready to be served

  I made this recipe based on my grandmother's recipe and of course some online help. Some tips when making this dish. For the noodles, I realised for this type of noodles, the best ones come from Sarawak, any district will do. It tastes better compared to the West Malaysian noodles. The rice wine it is only possible to be obtained from places where there is abundant of Foochow people. For me, I get the rice wine from my hometown which is also Sarawak. For the dried mushrooms, do not soak it for too long as the taste mostly comes from the mushrooms. Soak the mushrooms just enough to wash it. Do not wait until it is soft as it will be cooked in the soup long enough for it to be soft. To cook the soup, it will taste even better if you cook it overnight using slow cooker where the taste from the chicken is fully extracted. Do not cook the noodles for too long as it will turn soggy and taste really bad. Only cook the noodles when you are ready to serve the dish. The eggs also are cooked when you are ready to serve the dish.

Ratings:
Kev ★★★☆☆
Carol ★★★★☆