Commitment to Marriage Part 1

  We have decided to bring our relationship to the next level. But before doing that, we want to go through a book on relationships to prepare our hearts and minds on what to do and how to act when we are in a marriage. We do very much hope that our marriage will last and honor God.

  The book we will be going through together is So You're Getting Married by H. Norman Wright. It contains biblical wisdom and a rock-solid plan to help us make sure that our life together can the best it can be. These series of pre-marital post will come in point forms, highlights and questions for us to ponder and share.

  The first chapter in the book is Commitment to Marriage.

Q:
Why are you getting married?
What are your dreams, expectations and hopes for the future?
What part does marriage play in those dreams and hopes?
How do you look at marriage?
What do you expect from your marriage?

Marriage is a gift.
Marriage is an opportunity for love to be learned.
Marriage is a journey in which we as the travelers are faced with many choices and are responsible for these choices.
Marriage is affected more by our inner communication than our outer communication.
Marriage is more influenced by unresolved issues from our past than we realize.
Marriage is a call to servanthood.
Marriage is a call to friendship.
Marriage is a call to suffering.
Marriage is a refining process. It is an opportunity to be refined by God into the person He wants us to be.
Marriage is not an event but a way of life.
Marriage involves intimacy in all areas for it to be fulfilling.

1. Marriage is a commitment
Q: Are you ready for a commitment?
- It is a binding pledge or promise, private pledge made public. It is a pledge carried out to completion, running over any roadblocks, total giving of oneself to another person.
- Each day, you should renew your act of commitment to your marriage partner. Commitment can carry a relationship and keep it alive when the romantic feelings are at a low ebb.
- Commitment involves action. You must constantly fight to keep your commitment to marriage primary in your lives and resist the pressure to share that commitment with other facets of life. Your level of commitment is the most vital factor in determining the success or failure of your relationship.
- Bible says marriage commitment is holy and practical. His relationship and the Church- His Bride. He is committed to love her unconditionally.
- Christian marriage involves husband, wife and Jesus Christ. Pledge of mutual fidelity and mutual submission. Opportunity for each one to grow and develop his or her individual abilities and giftedness. (Eph 5:21-31; Rev 22:17; Matt 9:15)

Ways for commitment to last:
1. Daily recommit yourself to your marriage.
2. Allow God the opportunity to help you sustain your commitment.
3. Never neglect or take for granted your marriage. Renew or make it fresh each day.
4. Take definite and specific steps to reach the dreams and goals you have for your marriage.

2. Why get married?
- Building a good marriage means that you must take time to redefine roles, beliefs and behaviors and negotiate the differences with your partner. Use of space in the home, time, money, power, traditions, rituals, friends and vocations are just some issues you will have to negotiate.

3 reasons why marriage dissolves
1. One or both persons fail to understand the stages and changes of individual development- the seasons of their lives- and how these affect their marriage.
2. People have an inadequate basis upon which they build their personal identity and security. Best basis marriage comes from God who instituted marriage.
3. Some marriages dissolve because the partners were never prepared for marriage and because their expectations about marriage were totally unrealistic.

Q:
Why do people marry?
What are the underlying subtle reasons for love?
What background influences are somewhat hidden from view?

Reasons for marriage apart from love
1. Both men and women marry to be taken care of
2. Pregnancy
3. Rebound
4. Rebellion
5. Escape from an unhappy home environment
6. Loneliness
7. Physical appearance- physically attracted to one another
8. Social pressure
9. Guilt and pity
10. Many marry their own physical and emotional need

to be continued...

Materials taken from
Wright, H.N. (1985). So You're Getting Married. Ventura, California: Regal Books.